WAKE UP

"I'd always heard that your  hearing is the last to go and it seems as if that is true.  I can think and I can hear but they don't know it.  My eyes are too heavy to open and speech seems impossible.  I'm floating in my mind.  The thought that the end is near always scared me but now that it's upon me I'm all right.  Peace is coming..

My only thoughts are for them because their hearts are with mine and I can feel them.  I feel their sadness, regret, remorse, frustration, helplessness and heartbreak.  But most of all I feel their love and goodness.

If I could I would tell them not to worry, everything will be ok.  I was honoured to have them in my life and loving them all, through thick and thin, was my greatest pleasure. I have forgotten the bad and remember the good.  Everything is forgiven and I hope they forgive me.

I hope they can feel me as I do them.  I'm so lucky to have them all here.  They rub my arm, they touch my
face, they kiss my cheek and whisper that they love me.

I pray they will grieve with grace and not get stuck in it all.  I hope they will move through it and don't miss any of the steps.  I pray they won't be bitter but will fill themselves with love and courage.  I hope they will be able to laugh again soon.  I hope they will talk about me, joke about me and never forget me.

"WAKE UP!"

What?  Who is telling me to wake up and why?  Oh that's silly; it must be the drugs.

"WAKE UP!"

ok, ok, I will try.

I concentrate on my eyes and will them to open.  It's so hard, such an effort.  After what seems an eternity I finally feel my eyelashes and pull on them.  Pull, pull.

"WAKE UP!"

Oh, I'm making progress and I manage with one final heroic effort and success!  My eyes are open!

But wait, I'm no longer in my hospital bed.  I'm standing!  As I look around I am surrounded by white.  I look down at my body and it's covered with a white robe.  I feel young again!

Am I dreaming?

The voice was like thunder and all around me.  "Welcome back.  You'll remember everything soon.  Don't panic."

Don't panic?  Are you kidding?  One minute I'm in the hospital, an old woman, dying.  Now I'm floating in white, where there is everything and yet nothing, where there is no right side up or upside down, where there is no fear nor hate.

"Am I dreaming?"

The voice answered, "No, you are awake.  You just woke up from a dream."

"That's impossible!" I cried.  "My husband, my children, my parents and all my loved ones ..... are you telling me my LIFE wasn't real?  The tears, the pain, the heartache, the love, the desperation, the joy ...... it was all in my imagination?"

"No!" I demanded.   "I want to go back now!  I want my family!  I need to see them!"

"You can if you want to but it was your choice to wake up.  You had the choice to wake up at any time but you forgot how.  So, if you want to go back into that dream you can or you can create a new one to enter."

"I just want to hold my family again and tell them how much I love them."

"But they are not real.  Once you woke up they evaporated like wisps of vapour.  Like I said it's your choice whether to dream up the whole thing again and jump in or dream up something new."

"Who am I?"

"You are a dreamer."

"WAKE UP!"